Men Are Sharing The Hardest Parts Of Growing Up As A Boy, And I Never Considered Some Of These

Recently, we rounded up some confessions from women sharing the hardest parts of growing up as a girl, and many people found it sadly relatable. So, when I came across a Reddit thread sharing the opposite perspective, I had to share it. Here's what men say are the hardest parts of being a boy: 

• Suppressed emotions from early on

  • A boy was mocked by his own father for crying over a dead pet at age 8. The experience taught him to suppress emotions quickly.

  • Another man shared how growing up in an emotionless household made it difficult to understand his feelings, which later manifested as anger.

• Lack of guidance and mentorship

  • Many boys grow up without strong male mentors. One user said he received no guidance about relationships, goals, or emotional development.

  • Boys are often expected to know how to fix or do things without anyone actually teaching them.

• Struggle with identity and expectations

  • One man discussed the difficulty of knowing who you really are vs. who society expects you to be.

  • Others mentioned the pressure to become a “successful leader” or “provider,” often without support.

  • Being expected to become a "man" while not fitting into that traditional image continues to affect some well into adulthood.

• Puberty and physical changes

  • Puberty comes with awkward and uncontrollable physical changes like a cracking voice and random erections.

  • The body image issues boys face are often ignored, despite growing up seeing only muscular male figures in media.

• Toxic masculinity and emotional repression

  • Many learn early that their emotions and personal boundaries are not respected or welcome.

  • Toxic masculinity often becomes the easier or more “rewarded” path than being emotionally authentic.

  • The lack of simple, platonic physical affection like warm hugs is deeply felt.

• Social pressure to prove masculinity

  • Boys feel compelled to prove themselves, especially after puberty—whether through aggression, dominance, or bravado.

  • One shared that he had to punch a bully just to gain respect, despite not wanting to.

  • Some who didn’t conform to macho stereotypes were labeled as outcasts or “weird,” even though they preferred peace and deep conversations.

• Conditional self-worth

  • Boys often feel valued only for what they can do or provide, not for who they are.

  • This realization can lead to isolation and insecurity, especially when relationships remain surface-level or transactional.

  • Moral responsibility is expected from boys as young as 13, even though most aren't developmentally ready for it.

• Double standards in behavior and punishment

  • Teenage boys often feel unfairly judged, especially by female authority figures who are quick to exaggerate faults and downplay strengths.

  • For Black and Latino boys, these judgments are often intensified by harmful stereotypes linking them to danger or crime.

  • A user recalled how boys crying in school were met with discomfort or mockery, unlike the sympathy given to girls.

• In-fighting and lack of male solidarity

  • A recurring theme was how men themselves make it difficult for other men to thrive—through gatekeeping, judgment, and punishment.

  • Many wished men would support one another more rather than turning frustrations outward or blaming women.

• Social narratives and gender bias

  • Growing up, many felt girls were praised while boys were vilified. One person referred to it as “anti-boy propaganda.”

  • Another noted how boys are normalized to laugh at or dismiss anything associated with women or LGBTQ+ identity, making these topics harder to take seriously.

• Loneliness and unsupported crisis management

  • When boys hit personal low points, they often go through it without a support system.

  • Over time, this teaches men to bottle things up, which becomes a cycle of silence and surface-level connections.

• Unhealthy competition and insecurity

  • From childhood, boys face constant, meaningless competition—who’s stronger, faster, better, etc.

  • Even mundane things like sleeping bags or deodorant turn into contests, which continues into adulthood.

  • Some men are still challenged by others in random competitive ways—such as whose car is faster.

• Lack of bodily autonomy

  • One man pointed out the trauma of being circumcised without consent, saying that if he were a girl, his body would’ve been protected.

• Gendered expectations in school and family

  • A user noticed how in early education, stereotypical “boy” behavior was discouraged or punished more than “girl” behavior.

  • As a father now, he believes this gendered bias has only worsened.

• Dangers of emotional illiteracy and manipulation

  • The lack of male role models who encourage healthy emotional expression creates a vacuum easily filled by toxic ideologies.

  • Boys are often taught not to express insecurity, making them vulnerable to being radicalized or adopting misogynistic beliefs as a coping mechanism.